Alienation and Rehashing

                                

I don't need no arms around me                                                  
And I don't need no drugs to calm me.                        
I have seen the writing on the wall.
Don't think I need anything at all.
No! Don't think I'll need anything at all.
All in all it was all just bricks in the wall.
All in all you were all just bricks in the wall.

Have you ever heard of the word, ‘alienation’? And by alienation, I don’t mean anything related to creepy organisms from a different planet -_- I am talking about the actual ‘alienation’. Well, you might have. Since I study English Honors in Delhi University (bragging done successfully ^_^ ), two days back, an intense discussion on this word took place in my class. Most of the people in my class sat with long dry faces as if it was the most boring discussion that ever took place in the history of mankind. But honestly, it wasn’t. And I exceptionally have this opinion because of the obvious reason- Currently, I am totally alienated. *sigh*

My teacher stated, “‘Alienation’ is the feeling of estrangement from people. It basically happens because your thoughts and opinions normally don’t match with the people around you.”  In short, people can’t cope up with your awesomeness. (At least, that’s the main reason why I think I’m alienated xD)

It was the most typical feeling that I have ever experienced. I mean, you might know that kind of moment right? The moment when you suddenly realize how lonely you actually are even when you sit cramped between a hundred people in your class. I’ve tried, tried to a great extent, to connect with those people- interacting, faking smiles, nodding heads to things I’d never wish to accept. And now, I’m beginning to get tired of it. The fatigue is totally overwhelming and I can’t take it anymore. I’m done with reading inspirational stuff, listening to Pink Floyd’s album ‘The Wall’ (which is based on alienation. Check it out btw. Pink Floyd stuff is heavenly), done with listening to Lucas Scotts’s quotes from One Tree Hill. I guess I’m just literally fed up of trying to convince myself that things will get better soon. I guess they won’t because I’m facing a great deal of difficulty when it comes to making friends in Delhi. And after college, I am bound to return to my apartment where I’ve already been termed as a nerdy ManUnited lover girl. But yikes, I agree with that. :\

The conclusion is, when you shift to a new city alone, don’t anticipate that you’re gonna have the time of your life. It might be way different from how you think it’ll turn out to be.  And I’m just asking you to be a little careful. Music will cease to soothe you anymore. Watching anime and other TV series might become your worst pastime. You’ll literally search for a familiar face in the city. If you’re a girl with choices like listening to Rock and Metal genres, reading books all the time, watching English movies while ignoring the rest and being an ardent supporter of a football club, then baby, you are doomed. :| You’ll be treated as a social outcast. Now here, I’m not portraying self-pity but obviously the best example that I can give is of myself, isn’t it?

So instead of whining much on Facebook, or tweeting some miserable stuff, or crying my eyes out, I’ve decided to rehash an old habit of mine. I used to be a blogger just so you know. And this blog is not new. It’s old with all the previous posts deleted. Even though it was supposed to be ‘rehashing’. Now whenever I feel lonely, I’ll blog. And no matter, how pathetic this post might have sounded, it is what it is. Yeah, I know. I’ve lost my modesty as well. Tada! xD

So take care and and take my advice as well. And I promise you the coming posts will be better (being humble this time). ^_^